While attending a class for post abortive healing, I realized that much of what I had experienced was rooted in abuse. As I heard the testimonies of these ladies, I was startled to find that 4 out of 5 women who had abortions were also victims of sexual abuse. At that moment, I felt a spark in my heart igniting a God given passion for seeing women healed from their past. I believe that Christ is coming back for a healed church.
As a result of my experience, I have been launched on a journey-a quest to move beyond what was done to me so we can reach out to others. Through a series of studies on abuse we were lead to form “Journey to Total Freedom”, a journey through restoration and healing from the effects of abuse.
This is the rest of my story….
While in my late twenties, I was watching Oprah on TV. The show that day was on incest, a term I knew little about. As the show aired and people told their stories, I began to remember sexual abuse instances that happened to me as a child. The memories were few and vague, but I remembered enough to realize that it was abuse and who my abuser was.
For an entire year I told no one but a counselor at the church I attended and my best friend. My healing process had begun. Years of counseling and classes had brought me to a place where I felt confronting my abuser was necessary to complete my healing. Due to a family tragedy, the death of my brother, I was unable to carry out the confrontation. I decided I would just forget about it,and carry the burden myself, and keep my secret forever. The problem here was that I took the issue and thought I was fixing it instead of letting God have it.
In August of 2004, a phone call came from another family member revealing her abuse, as well as others, by the same abuser. Due to the nature of their confessions, I felt I had no other choice than to tell my story as well. My family and friends were now a part and knew my secret.
I had always been told that an abuser never quits and there is usually more than one victim. Deep down inside, I wanted to believe that wasn’t true. Now I know it IS true. I began to feel tremendous shame and guilt because of the others. If only I had come forward sooner, others could have been protected.
As the truth unfolded, I was faced with confronting the abuser. There were many exchanges of words and letters. None of which brought confession. They only heaved condemnation on me, with an abusive denial of all accusations. Also, not uncommon that many abusers never confess.
As an adult, the abuses continued, all I believe as a result of the initial childhood abuse. As I reflect on the events of the past, my multiple marriages, over protecting my child and health issues, I know they were all connected to my initial abuse experience. Through a process, the wounds from emotional, physical and sexual abuse, I have begun to heal.
Thus, my journey continues on a path that leads me to the only true light, Jesus Christ. I thank God daily for this grace, mercy and unconditional love. God has the power to take the most horrible situation and turn it around for His glory. The Truth (The Bible) is what sets us free and heals wounds that devastate lives. God also has the power to help us overcome the obstacles that separate us from total freedom.
The power of prayer changes lives, tears down strongholds and breaks the chains of bondage that we are bound by. My prayer is that you, through this testimony and God’s power, will allow your journey to begin. Start now!
Recognize the hurt. Receive healing. Reach out to others.
God Bless,
Michele