For the first 17 years of my life, I experienced and witnessed
mental, sexual, physical abuse and neglect. Finally, my mother left the abuser and I thought my troubles
were finally over. I never dreamed that all the abuse I had grown up with would still affect
my daily life years after the fact. Of course, it did. No matter how hard I tried to change and
get away from my past, those feelings always lingered. Fast forward 10 years. I am married and
we have 3 children together. Life isn't perfect, but compared to what I had grown up with, we have it
pretty good. Then the abuser struck again...this time against the newest and youngest member in our
extended family. My world crashed. Everything that I had put behind me... was suddenly right there in front
of me again. That was in April 2005. I was not recovering from this blow. Then, in January 2006,
the church began the very first JTTF class. I attended and finally recovered my happiness, my life,
my trust in God. This is what I wrote in my JTTF workbook on the final class:
It’s so wonderful to feel free and not chained to the past. Before, I felt that I had nothing to offer. Sadness, anger, always focused on my past and all it’s grief… that was before the class and having a personal relationship with God. This class has changed everything for me. I’m no longer chained to my past. I have happiness and hope. I no longer focus on what’s wrong with me. But I can now see others…. And I see their pain. For the first time ever, I feel like I’m strong and I have something to offer others. I have never been closer to God. I have never had so much happiness, faith, and peace. God has brought such peace, blessings, love and understanding into my life with this class. This has been the first time I’ve been able to receive and give forgiveness. I finally have a purpose. And now, I can say with all my heart and with complete confidence and understanding: “God is SO good! He is SO good to me!”
It’s been a year since then and what a crazy year it has been! Soon after writing that, I started getting more involved with things at the church and was baptized again. I even got to start a new career path. Unfortunately, Satan began attacking even more. My belief was being challenged at home like it never had before. One of my Sons really started having problems in school. I never forgot the lessons I had learned in JTTF, but at some point, I stopped trusting God to take charge. I was carrying my past around with me again. I struggled with the abuse issues as I continued to remember more offenses. I was tired; I no longer wanted to remember anything about my past. I left the JTTF class temporarly. God was still with me, He kept reminding me to trust him and to focus on my family. I did focus on my family more, but ignored the abuse issues. Finally, one morning in February (2007) while getting ready for church, I caved in. Okay God, You are right…You take control again of my life and family. I can’t do this alone. (But still I refused to give Him the abuse issues.) Wow, mountains began to move…. Or at least the impossible mountains around me and my family began to move! I started seeing major changes in just a couple of weeks! God decided it was time to continue dealing with the abuse issues whether I wanted to or not. One thing after another, God urged me to deal with the abuse issues. Me being stubborn- I tried my hardest to avoid those issues. Of course, God knows how to get to me, and I caved in once again. “Okay God, You are in control.”I finally gave Him control over those abuse issues again. What peace! Why had I waited so long? I think it's because It’s scary knowing I failed last year when things got tough (because I tried to do it on my own). But God never fails.... He was always there. So here I am, trusting in God again. He really does have a plan and a purpose for me and for you. One thing I’ve learned the hard way is healing has been a process that takes time and patience. I’m not a patient and trusting person, but I’m working on it with God’s help…. It’s my prayer that everyone receives God’s healing and peace in their life. I truly believe the JTTF class can help anyone to receive healing through God. Personally, the class (through God) answered so many questions I had. It removed the obstacles I had from really having a great personal relationship with God. It answered my biggest questions: Why did God let this happen to me? Where was He? Why didn’t He stop it? God is faithful, and He wants to heal my past and yours.
-Christina
It’s so wonderful to feel free and not chained to the past. Before, I felt that I had nothing to offer. Sadness, anger, always focused on my past and all it’s grief… that was before the class and having a personal relationship with God. This class has changed everything for me. I’m no longer chained to my past. I have happiness and hope. I no longer focus on what’s wrong with me. But I can now see others…. And I see their pain. For the first time ever, I feel like I’m strong and I have something to offer others. I have never been closer to God. I have never had so much happiness, faith, and peace. God has brought such peace, blessings, love and understanding into my life with this class. This has been the first time I’ve been able to receive and give forgiveness. I finally have a purpose. And now, I can say with all my heart and with complete confidence and understanding: “God is SO good! He is SO good to me!”
It’s been a year since then and what a crazy year it has been! Soon after writing that, I started getting more involved with things at the church and was baptized again. I even got to start a new career path. Unfortunately, Satan began attacking even more. My belief was being challenged at home like it never had before. One of my Sons really started having problems in school. I never forgot the lessons I had learned in JTTF, but at some point, I stopped trusting God to take charge. I was carrying my past around with me again. I struggled with the abuse issues as I continued to remember more offenses. I was tired; I no longer wanted to remember anything about my past. I left the JTTF class temporarly. God was still with me, He kept reminding me to trust him and to focus on my family. I did focus on my family more, but ignored the abuse issues. Finally, one morning in February (2007) while getting ready for church, I caved in. Okay God, You are right…You take control again of my life and family. I can’t do this alone. (But still I refused to give Him the abuse issues.) Wow, mountains began to move…. Or at least the impossible mountains around me and my family began to move! I started seeing major changes in just a couple of weeks! God decided it was time to continue dealing with the abuse issues whether I wanted to or not. One thing after another, God urged me to deal with the abuse issues. Me being stubborn- I tried my hardest to avoid those issues. Of course, God knows how to get to me, and I caved in once again. “Okay God, You are in control.”I finally gave Him control over those abuse issues again. What peace! Why had I waited so long? I think it's because It’s scary knowing I failed last year when things got tough (because I tried to do it on my own). But God never fails.... He was always there. So here I am, trusting in God again. He really does have a plan and a purpose for me and for you. One thing I’ve learned the hard way is healing has been a process that takes time and patience. I’m not a patient and trusting person, but I’m working on it with God’s help…. It’s my prayer that everyone receives God’s healing and peace in their life. I truly believe the JTTF class can help anyone to receive healing through God. Personally, the class (through God) answered so many questions I had. It removed the obstacles I had from really having a great personal relationship with God. It answered my biggest questions: Why did God let this happen to me? Where was He? Why didn’t He stop it? God is faithful, and He wants to heal my past and yours.
-Christina
Philippians 3:13-14
Another testimony coming soon.
Another testimony coming soon.